


Am I the Only One?

by mktellstales



Series: Archived Work: 2013-2015 [22]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2105040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mktellstales/pseuds/mktellstales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John needs to know once and for all if Sherlock is in love with him.</p><p>Set some time between The Empty Hearse and The Sign of Three</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I the Only One?

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing Fancy, but a little short floating around in my head!

Sherlock felt like he had been punched in the gut. That had been no kiss; it was a low blow that went straight to his heart. He hadn't know that John could be so malicious. Things had indeed changed since his time away.

He realized too slowly that his fingers had lifted up to hesitantly touch his lips after John had pulled away, cursing his stupidity loudly into the still air of the flat. It was too late to rip them away now; John was watching him; studying him much the same way Sherlock had studied him so many times before.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Sherlock said, quietly, letting his fingers slide away from his lips, taking the evidence of their meeting with John’s along with him as his hand went to rest in his lap.

The night had started so innocently; like any of their other nights spent together. John stopped by Baker Street on his way home from the clinic,or rather, he had gotten on the tube that took him to Baker Street from the clinic rather than tube that would have taken him home to his fiancee. He picked up take-away; Greek from the restaurant a few blocks down with the spicy gyro Sherlock had mentioned liking the first time they had eaten there.

They ate, and they talked about the details of the last case they had solved just the other day. Sherlock was already itching for something new.

Then suddenly, as they sat in front of a fire, enjoying each other’s quiet company, John asked if Sherlock could think of a reason as to why he should not marry Mary. Sherlock had several reasons, but he couldn’t understand why John would even ask, and he didn’t see why he should tell him. Not when the wedding was so close now.

So, Sherlock told him no, but that didn’t seem to be the answer that John was looking for. He laughed- that angry laugh that conveyed something much darker than amusement, and then he said, _‘yes you do’_ , and stood from his chair. He bent down; looked into Sherlock’s eyes for a moment, and then he kissed him.

It hadn’t been a chaste kiss either. There was no gentle coaxing, no silent plea for permission. John leaned one hand against the arm of the chair for support, and cupped the other on the back of Sherlock’s head, holding the other man against his lips by the nape of his neck with the strong fingers that Sherlock suddenly remembered in that moment, had killed near as many as they had healed.

As suddenly as John had started it, he finished it. He pulled away; stood up, and swore.

That is where they were.

“I’d like the truth from you, Sherlock.” John said in answer to Sherlock’s self proclamation of ignorance.

“The truth about what?”

John was quiet for a minute. He had been clenching and un-clenching his fist of the same hand that had just been holding onto Sherlock like a prized possession trying to blow away with the wind.

He looked away from Sherlock, and swore under his breath. The tension in his body, the shaking in his exhalations reminded Sherlock of the night in the tube car; the night when John had forgiven him for everything.

John’s eyes were suddenly back on Sherlock; uncharacteristically more blue than gray.

“Do you love me?” He asked.

“I- Why are you asking me that?”

“Because, I need to know. I need to know if I’m the only one.”

“The only one what?”

“Christ, Sherlock!” John burst out,  “are you pretending to be an idiot, or do you honestly not know?”

“Do I not know what, John?”

“That I am fucking in love you!”

Sherlock was truly startled. Not by John’s yelling, but by the words he had yelled.

John was holding fast to his stance; he was holding fast to the hard stone he had set on his face, but Sherlock saw him starting to crumble; saw the way his entire body was trembling underneath his weight, saw the wide state of his eyes as he dried up the tears he didn’t want to fall.

How long had John been carrying that revelation around with him?

“You- You are?”

“Of course I am.” _Of course I forgive you_. “And I want to know; I need to know, if you feel the same way about me.”

“John.” Sherlock said quietly, and a little exasperated; all of this feeling was making him tired. “I am a man of logic; of measurements and quantifiers. I like facts; things I can see, and can know, without a doubt that they exists, and that they are either true or false.”

“I know-”

Sherlock held up his hand, “I wasn't done yet.”

“Sorry.”

“If I were to take all of that away; everything I ever knew about anything; all the proven and disproved fact of the world, all that would be left; the only thing I would still be sure about, would be you, and the fact that I am, quite desperately actually, in love with you.”

That was John’s undoing. He smiled, but he also dropped; his knees hitting the hardwood floor underneath him, and his forehead crashing into the thick of Sherlock's thigh. Sherlock let him sit there for a moment before he slid his hand underneath John’s armpits, and hauled his boneless body into his lap like a child who had fallen asleep before making it into bed. John clung to him in much the same way.

Sherlock rubbed soothing circles along John’s back, letting his emotions catch up to reality. There was no rush now that they had broken their walls; now that they were no longer lying to one another about the truth that had been evident for so long.

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